One Sunday in 1921 I’m sitting with Dad in the front seat on the upper deck of a bus going to Chelmsford. Yes, there were double decker buses in those days. The horse buses had gone, although Dad used to say that he had travelled from High Barnet to work in the City by horse bus in the early 1900s, about 1905-6. Where are we……………? Oh yes, on the way to Chelmsford. Incidentally there was a hole in the floor in the driving cab of the bus so that the driver could let down a pointed steel rod which stuck, or was supposed to stick, in the road, if the bus should inadvertently stop on a steep hill and try to run backwards.
Chelmsford. We are outside a huge building! I’ve never seen a prison. I am only 8 years old but it certainly looked as if it could be one. There is a large double iron gate. It’s open and I look up at two huge pillars one on each side of the gate. On top of each pillar is a large eagle with its wings outstretched. It’s not a prison, it’s my new school, King Edward VI Grammar School, known as KEGS (established by Royal Warrant in 1551 and still going – see link).
Have you ever read Tom Brown’s School Days (Thomas Hughes, 1857)? Well his school had nothing on mine! I don’t remember meeting the Matron or any of the Masters, or saying goodbye to Dad. I remember going to bed in a dormitory with a lot of other boys, and I remember the next day because I was a new boy. We were called “Shrimps” and were led round the School buildings by two boys, one on each arm, followed by the other boys from the dormitory; the idea being that we were made to pick a fight with another newcomer. The chap I had to fight was very bony and had knuckles like iron! I can remember him quite well. He was taller than I and had fair curly hair, I think his name was Langley or something like that.
We wore knickers, stockings and lace-up boots; jackets without turn-down collars, because we wore “Eton” collars (a broad white buttoned collar worn over the lapels of a jacket which originated at Eton College in the 19C) with a tie. Lord knows how I managed to put a stiff collar on and tie a tie! I must have looked a sight! I don’t think I even did my hair in those days.
Lessons for us were in two huts by the side of the playing field near to the outside bogs – lavatories to ordinary people. There were two lady teachers for the small boys. Mine was a Miss Alterton. I don’t know what she taught because I don’t remember learning anything! However I do know something about Hiawatha (a poem, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1807 – 1882) and his girlfriend Minnihaha sitting by the banks of something or other.
The School was well equipped for Sport; a large playing field attached to the School, and a short distance away another very large area of playing fields, and a good gymnasium.
The Headmaster’s name was Will Hey. His wife, a buxom woman, was called Amy. I met them both eventually. I’ll tell you about that later.
The food was atrocious, in fact putrid, and I really mean rotten! The meat was usually stew, and the meat was gray in colour and smelt badly. The gravy had tiny bubbles floating on top. I think each bubble contained a foreign body! The pudding was either Rice or sometimes Rice mixed with Porridge left over from breakfast, or Tart covered with stewed Rhubarb, which looked like dishwater with shreds of something floating in it! I reckon the tramps had better breakfast served in the Workhouse in Billericay. Tea was plates piled high with Bread and Margarine, and you had Jam or Paste if you had any in your tuck-box. All the boys carried envelopes at dinnertime to put their meat in and then throw it over the wall which bounded the playing field. After dinner we lined up in two rows to go into a little room where we were either given a dessert spoon of Cod Liver Oil or Scotts Emulsion (a Cod Liver Oil based tonic used for Generations and still available today).
On Saturdays as we passed out of the Dining Room we were given six (old) pence (would be the equivalent of about 75 pence today) by the Headmaster for pocket money. Prep was at 6 o’clock, except Saturday and Sunday, then at 8 o’clock we had the best meal of the day.
There was a large coal fire in the Dining Room, which was used as a Common Room in the evenings, and sliced bread was available. Not the sliced bread as we know it today, but real sliced bread, sliced with a knife and really good for toast. We could make toast and use our own Butter and Jam, and eat our own Cake if we had any. I used to write Home every week to ask for more Cake to be sent (I have some of Dad’s “begging” letters which I will put onto the Web as proof!). The food that we supplied ourselves was really the only edible and decent tasting food we got. Still we must not forget that there had been a war and that everyone was suffering in the aftermath of that war.
The long and the short of it was that I developed a swollen neck, a poisoned gland. I was not allowed to play games, do Gym or play in the playground. When the weather was warm I had to sit outside the Classroom to get as much fresh air as possible. My life was pretty traumatic at this time, and there are two moments worth telling, because even today they often come to mind. The only fun I really had was during holidays at home with the Family, and at “half-term merits”.
One lunchtime I was playing ball with some of the boys when the ball went into a corner of the field where the Headmaster kept some Chickens. I went after it and was chased by a Cockerel! I threw a clod of earth or a stone at it. The Headmasters Wife, buxom Amy was looking out of the window. She told the Old Man and I was hauled into his Study and lectured on throwing things at his Chickens. Result: two strokes (of the Cane) on each hand. I spent the next ten minutes with my hands on the cold stone of the Urinals before going back to the Classroom.
It was a Sunday morning when I was caught with my knees dirty! Usually we went in crocodile (formation) to Chelmsford Cathedral for Morning Service. This day I went with my Friend, whose name I forget and whose Parents lived in Australia. The Head Boy, named Pinder, passed us on the way and noticed that the back of my legs were dirty. He told me to report to his Room when I got back to School and to bring my Slipper with me. I did not do so, and lived in dread ever after!